10 Montessori Home Parenting Tips For Children Under 3

Category: Montessori at Home

Last Modified: 19 July 2012

The following are tips for parents on how to holistically raise your child the Montessori way at home. This applies across the board for all areas of development of children.

1. Respect your child in every aspect of their life

Simply place yourself in their shoes, why do such a thing? Why are they crying? It can be as simple as they are they woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, which as adults we also experience. Give them extra hugs.

If you are confined in a room or space you would get upset as well as you would also like to have the freedom to be able to move places and not be forced. Respect that they do not want to eat at times, we also have days that we do not have big appetites.

Respect that they have needs as we do. Being respectful to their needs can also extend to teaching them respect and courtesy by setting good examples. Be gracious and courteous to your children and to others as well. This is the best way for them to learn it, if it is used in practice. This respect can transcend to other children, adults and other living things as well. If we teach them how to care for things they can learn it and make it part of their being at a very young age.

2. Freedom of Movement

Give them the space and opportunity to be able to move around. Do not simply “cage” them or have them in one confined place not being able to explore their environment or try new movement possibilities. (Tummy time, pulling up, cruising, etc.) As children get older give them challenges to climb in safe areas. As children learn to move it expands their possibilities for learning by freely exploring their environment.

3. Freedom of Choice

Always give them a choice. This is best when dealing with toddlers and you are engaging in a power struggle. Give them only two choices for things that will involve them. They can have dinner now or they can have it later with everybody else, they can wear the blue or the red shorts with the green top.

4. Teach independence

Give them opportunities to do things for themselves. Children are not to be treated as mini adults who can do all things for themselves, however they are not helpless human beings. Make things easy or simplified for them so that they can actually do things by themselves. For example, have elastic pants instead of denim so that they can try to dress themselves rather than have to ask you to zip up their jeans. At a young age allow them to feed themselves even though it can be messy, but you are giving them the chance to practice.

5. Communication

Always talk to them properly in a clearly articulated voice. Give them the names of objects around them to increase their vocabulary. Talking to them also involves modelling communication with other adults and listening. Be respectful when talking to them. Do not just communicate to them to tell them to do or not to do something, but have a regular conversation about how the day went.

6. Teach not by correcting but by modeling

Do not teach by judging whether the child is doing something right or wrong. If a mistake is made, model correctly how to do it. Do not make a big deal out of it, make them aware of their mistakes subtly. In language, if they mispronounce, repeat what they said and pronounce it correctly. You do not have to say that it was wrong, simply model how it should be done.

7. Keep to natural simple materials / toys

There is no need for fancy or flashy toys that do all the work for the child and just leave them watching and being amused for a short period of time. Get toys that encourage children do something with their hands, to drop a ball in a box, or to stack rings to accomplish a task. It can entertain them for long periods of time as they repeat the activity over and over. Do not get toys where they only need to press one button and are left with nothing else. Have materials that deeply involve children to concentrate for more than 2 seconds! TV may hold their attention for a long time but does not involve interaction/manipulation. Montessori believed the work of the hand is very important for the child’s development. Give them toys in which they can manipulate objects.

8. Use common sense

It does not take rocket science to raise a child; some things just need to involve common sense that seems to be not so common for some. Trust yourself that you are doing the right thing, if it feels right. Most of the Montessori principles involve only common sense and rational thinking.

9. Patience

What you teach them now will help you in the long run. Do not give in to getting peace and quiet for a few moments to encounter that problem every day. Instead, while it may take a longer time to get a child to learn something, when they do, it does not become an issue any longer. For sleeping, do not make your child dependent on you to rock or pat them or use a dummy, it may take time for them to get used to sleep independently but in the long run you do not need to spend long periods of time putting them to sleep.

10. Lastly, love and support them

If you do this, you cannot go wrong with any parenting style you implement! It will be good enough, remember it can never be perfect and mistakes and faults are all part of the growing up process.

10 Montessori Home Parenting Tips For Children Under 3

At six-and-a-half, my daughter appears to be growing into a mature, caring person. She expresses her feelings and shows compassion for others. (I‘ve even witnessed her self-regulate TV time!) Something’s apparently working, and when I consider how we raise our daughter, I suspect these six tools have been effective in her emotional development.

1. Listen With Respect

Everybody wants to be heard. This is even truer for kids whose emotions and ideas spill out at warp speed. Constantly undermining that with “Be quiet” or “Not now” dismisses the equal importance of what they have to say.

This requires really listening to what happened in school today or the detailed account of last night’s dream. Asking specific questions (“So how big was this tutu-wearing purple monster?”) demonstrates caring.

It’s a heady feeling when we have someone’s full attention. Kids feel it and blossom from it.

2. Show Empathy for Feelings

Empathy is the ability to identify with another’s feelings. Children don’t truly develop this skill until about age six, yet they require it from us almost daily.

Their feelings are huge, and they need to know that all those feelings are okay—not just the shiny, happy ones.

When conflict arises, adults often fall into a logical determination of “right vs. wrong.” A child cannot process such information until his feelings are acknowledged first. Especially if there is strong anger or fear.

Sofie struggles with conflict resolution. Her emotions overwhelm her so that she cannot listen to the hurt child or own responsibility for anything in that moment.

We have learned that the most effective first step is to notice and validate Sofie’s feelings, saying things like: “I see that you’re really upset about what happened. Do you need a hug?”

3. Allow Safe Space

Showing empathy may mean giving the child emotional space. And I don’t mean time outs. Time outs are a quick remedy to relief. Relief for the parent, not the child who is sent to a room or chair to “think about what they did.”

What does this teach? That he is “bad”? That her actions or feelings are too big to be dealt with? They have been sent away for doing something when likely their behavior is a sign of needing more attention or understanding.

While we don’t use time outs, we have learned that Sofie often needs space in the aftermath of a conflict. When emotionally overwhelmed, it’s best for her to step away and calm down.

The difference is that the space is now self-directed rather than imposed upon her. I may say: “I see that you’re angry. Are you able to work this out with Jamie or do you need some space first?”

Sometimes Sofie will run to her room crying. After a few minutes, I’ll follow and sit with her. Nine times out of ten, she wants me there with her, even if she’s still angry.

My presence is comforting in the face of scary emotions. She learns to experience such feelings in a safe space… without being sent away.

4. Offer Choices

Kids are never their best selves when they feel trapped. Providing choices (“Do you need a hug, or do you need space?” “Would you rather talk about this now or talk about it in ten minutes?”) allows freedom and respect.

It leads away from black and white thinking, and helps children grow into adults who see options in every situation.

Parents can share messages of responsibility this way. Instead of “You should apologize to Gabby,” it can be “Gabby seems sad that you called her a name. Would you rather talk to her about her sadness or draw a happy picture for her?” We’re giving the message that the incident does need to be addressed, yet the child has a say in how it’s done.

Very powerful for them.

5. Don’t Force Apologies

This is a controversial tool because apologies are expected in our society as a sign of politeness. Yet too many adults offer “sorry” as an automatic response rather than sincere acknowledgement.

When little ones get into conflict, the parent of the “responsible one” often feels compelled to force an apology from her child, if nothing more than to please the other parent. Kids learn nothing from this, except that they did something wrong.

What’s more effective in the long run is acknowledging both kids’ feelings and using age-appropriate statements to help the children learn from the situation.

An example for two-year-olds might be: “Henry felt sad when you took his toy. Let’s choose something where both of you can feel good.”

For five-year-olds (who have a better understanding of how they affect other people): “Maya seems upset about being hit on the arm. Is there something you could do to help her feel better?” More than scripted words, this gentle manner inspires solutions from the child.

It might even lead to random acts of sincere empathy.

6. Find a Solution Together

Punishments are doled out to enforce a sense of control over someone else. Effective solutions are found together. When a child feels heard and validated, his mind expands to consider solutions to conflict.

A six-year-old can help decide the consequence of breaking a window. This kind of participation leads to her feeling empowered rather than controlled.

Discipline is about self-control. When we treat our children with respect and equality, they more readily learn the necessary skills to regulate themselves. Discipline doesn’t need to be a constant battle of wills. With tools like these, it can be a positive, affirming process that, in the end, is both effective and connecting for you and your child.

About the author: Donna DeForbes is a writer, designer and the creator of Eco-Mothering where she blogs about conscious parenting, nature, humor and guilt-free green living. A Philly native, she currently lives in Rhode Island with her progressive husband, precocious six-year-old daughter and a yellow-tailed woolly monkey named Eek. Follow Eco-Mothering on Facebook and Twitter.

Don’t Apologize… and 5 More Tools for Positive Discipline

I can understand the urge to walk babies. After all, they seem to like it so much. When we help our babies walk, they are gleefully entertained — enjoying us enjoying them — while we’re getting a preview of one of life’s major milestones. Sometimes we’re compelled to walk our babies because we think they need help developing their motor skills and believe it our duty to teach them. We worry that our children will fall behind if we don’t give them a hand or two (literally).

So, why rain on this innocent parade and suggest not walking babies?

1. Body wisdom

“Only a baby knows just the way his joints should align,” notes Carol Pinto, a longtime RIE Associate, Feldenkrais practitioner and friend. In other words, when it comes to motor development, babies are self-learners — they really do know best. By holding a baby’s hands to mobilize him, position and reposition his body, we hinder his natural ability to find balance, sense spatial relations, and judge what he can and cannot do. Better to trust our babies to walk when they are ready, and by doing so encourage mental and physical awareness.

2. Safety

Awareness and safety go hand-in-hand, and walking babies makes them less aware — gives them a false sense of balance and of their abilities — which can be dangerous. (In Don’t Stand Me Up I describe an unfortunate incident at our home involving my unwitting husband and a friend’s toddler who was accustomed to being walked down steps.) But babies who are given freedom to move and develop in their own way gain a self-knowledge that keeps them safer. Their inner sense of balance and judgment intact, movements are carefully calculated, and they tend to make fewer reckless moves. In a 1971 study on natural gross motor development at the Pikler Institute (as reported in The RIE Manual) researchers described the children’s movements as “well-coordinated, economical and cautious”. They also noted that “the children, without exception, attained age-appropriate skills.”

3. Habits, dependencies

Walk babies, and they’ll probably want to do it again and again. Not only does this create an unhealthy dependence on an adult for body balancing, it makes a habit of an activity that the baby will likely be much more interested in continuing (and doing far more often) than we are. Babies are extremely fond of repetition. And, personally, I’m not fond of having more situations with babies where I have to say, “No”. Babies who are not walked or otherwise positioned never ask to be.

4. Parent’s backache

Enough said.

5. Thwarts independent play

The walking habit creates an unnecessary and unproductive dependency on the adult for entertainment. Engaging the parent to repeat the activity becomes a distraction when the child could be happily working on developing motor skills his way, or engaged in other more educational, creative and exploratory self-generated activities.

6. Restrictive

Although we probably believe that our well-intentioned manipulation of a baby is helping him learn to move freely, we are actually restricting him (just as we do when propping him to sit and holding him to stand). Babies need lots of practice moving freely to attain new skills. It is best to encourage that freedom and trust them to be inner-directed. Only babies know what they are ready to do and what they’re working on.

7. Loss of transitional movements

Researchers at the Pikler Institute also noted in their observation of the 722 children raised in this model orphanage (the only place that I’m aware of where natural gross motor development has been officially studied) that the children maintained a “stable high activity level during the whole period of learning new motor skills and changed their postures on average of at least once per minute. This indicates that a child restricted from moving freely is deprived of the long hours of exercising in transitional postures before mastering the next developmental skill.” (From The RIE Manual.)

These wonderful transitional postures are one of the striking differences I’ve seen over the years between babies who are allowed to develop without interference and those who aren’t.

There is an agile 7 month old boy in my new class who spends the majority of the class in perfect straddle splits when he isn’t sitting (a recent development) or scooting across the floor. The parents (neither of whom are dancers, gymnasts, or even circus performers) and I were marveling at him just last week, wondering if, and for how long he will maintain this astonishing flexibility.

Transitional postures are building blocks, each one having a distinct and valuable developmental purpose for our child. When we, however subtly, nudge our child to sit or walk, we believe we are helping, but the child ends up losing out on experiencing a healthier developmental process which includes the wide array of naturally strength-building postures.

8. Trust + Mastery = Self-Confidence

Basic trust in our baby means allowing him to drive his development. When a baby feels our trust and is allowed to experience his appropriate self-chosen struggles and then eventually to own his independent accomplishments (like walking), self-confidence is nurtured. Instead of, “Now I can finally do it without daddy’s hands holding me.” It’s “Wow, look what I can do!”

9. I’m enough

When we’re dating, everyone wants to know when we’ll be married. Then we get married and it’s, “When are you having a baby?” Then, “Is the baby smiling? Sitting? Walking? Talking? When are you having baby number 2?” Why is it so hard for us to appreciate what’s going on right now?

Babies need to know that they are appreciated, enjoyed and loved for what they are able to do at this moment. Generally, they never need our help for the basics like sitting, standing and walking. Our interference only confuses the process, and in many ways corrupts it. They really don’t need our help, as much as we’re driven to give it. As Magda Gerber writes in Dear Parent – Caring For Infants With Respect, “If infants are ready to do something, they will do it. In fact, when they are ready, they have to do it.”

9 Reasons Not to Walk Babies Janet Lansbury

I receive quite a bit of communication from businesses that want to sell us educational products, the key part of their pitch being a long lists of what children will learn. I know that school districts, like the Seattle School district, purchase math, literacy, and other curricula from businesses that sell such things, and I’m quite certain that the sales people are very specific about what it is the children will learn, probably on a month by month, chapter by chapter, step by step basis.

I’m kind of baffled by this. How do they know what the kids will learn? And if they really somehow can know what another person will learn, how do they know that this specific knowledge-product is what they really ought to have in their heads and on that particular schedule? What about all the other stuff they could be learning instead? It seems like such a gamble to me; a huge opportunity cost. I mean, what if they’re wrong? How can anyone know what specific knowledge will be important in a future that none of us can predict 5 years down the road, let alone 20 or 30 when these kids are out there in the middle of the world?

I’m not exaggerating when I say that I think this piece of art is a work of genius.

There seems to be a kind of hubris in this way of approaching education, the idea that the grown-ups get to decide what children will learn. Adults have never been particularly good at predicting the future, especially those of us over 40. And while there is something to be said for the wisdom that comes from experience, if that experience has taught me anything at all, it’s that I better be prepared to keep right on learning because the specific set of things I need to know changes year by year, month by month and even day by day. What I needed to know yesterday is obsolete today.

As a teacher, I never (or rarely) pretend to know what the kids will learn, but I do know that they are learning. I know this because what we are about within our four walls is building a community, and in that process, every day, children bump up against their limits, find that there is something they do not know, something they need to know, want to know, and so set about learning it. A progressive, play-based curriculum never needs to be updated, we never need to download a version 2.1 or 2.2. It’s always cutting edge because the children are always learning exactly what they need to know to answer the questions they have, to fulfill their self-selected role in our community, to scaffold their way to the next step in their ongoing inquiry about themselves and how to work with the other people.

Our role as experienced adults is not to package up and spoon feed them whatever it is that we, in our own unique process of living for decades in this world, have found useful, but rather to observe carefully and then to make our best guesses about not what they ought to learn, but what they are learning right now, then to be there with vocabulary, a hand, an observation, or, if we are very careful, perhaps a question that will support their inquiry.

When I do something as simple as putting pinking shears, scissors, construction paper, and glue sticks on a table, I don’t need a list of what the children will learn. In fact, what arrogance it would take to assume I could make such a list before they have even begun their exploration of these materials.

The object of education is not to fill heads with our predictions about what we think they will need to know, but rather to create a clear field in which children can practice the lifelong habit of learning.

Teaching Motivation by Teacher Tom

有懶惰的父母 才有獨立的小孩
May 23 2009 11:53 網絡

做人最好是勤勞一點，但是如果當了父母之後，強烈的建議您「懶惰一點」，因為「越能幹的父母，往往教出懶惰的孩子」。真的別怕孩子吃苦，當孩子還小時您覺得幫他們做一些事情是應該的，因為他們還沒有自理能力，但….當孩子開始會用雙腳走向這個世界時，您該放手讓他們去接觸、讓他們去學習、讓他們去冒險、放手讓他們自己吃飯、自己洗澡、洗頭、大小便、讓他們去嘗試與成長…

而您只要像個好長官，指導他前進的方向，在旁邊監督他不會犯錯，這樣就夠了！想像一下我們在社會新聞上看到孩子讀到大學生卻連水煮蛋也不會、水果要削皮的就不吃，甚至從來不知道原來蘋果與鳳梨是有皮的，您希望這樣麼小孩來自你家嗎？那只會害了你的孩子，我也深深相信您也不希望這種孩子是您教出來的！

「懶」字訣，給小孩自己去做，你只要監督與保護

對於孩子的管教，我倆夫妻並沒有絕對的方法與秘訣，更不用去上課或是翻書，唯一的方法就是「懶」！當別的小孩還要媽媽追著強迫吃飯時，我們家一歲多的小孩已經乖乖坐在椅子上自己拿湯匙吃東西，儘管他們會把桌子上下弄得髒兮兮，但這就是學習！

家中兩個小朋友還沒有上幼稚園時，已經會自己乖乖吃飯、自己洗澡洗頭、自己到廁所大小號，上了幼稚園之後，我們讓他們自己去洗碗、自己去整理自己的空間，就連洗衣機他們都知道怎麼丟衣服下去之後該按哪些鈕來洗衣服，到現在小學了，他們除了每天下課會幫忙把衣服丟到洗衣機之外，還會主動去把衣服晾起來，等到我兩夫妻下班回家時望著空空的洗衣籃，那就是成就與成長！

這一切沒有別的技巧，完全是因為我們「懶」，而我們也不時跟小朋友說：「這個家是我們的，有時候我們洗衣服，有時候你們洗衣服，可以嗎？大家一起來幫忙，沒有誰應該要做什麼」。

小朋友沒說 你就別做

時間已經來到下午一點，我家的孩子沒叫肚子餓，我們也不急著張羅食物，因為這樣可以免去叫孩子吃飯時的推託吵罵，以前小時候寶貝有一陣子厭奶，我家老婆緊張的帶去給醫生看，結果醫生只是冷冷的回應說：「不要緊張，沒有一個小孩會讓自己餓死的，他現在不餓你逼他幹嘛？」，所以……您絕對不用擔心孩子餓到了，因為等他們餓的時候自然會找你，等到飢腸轆轆的時候，他們不僅胃口全開，飯菜也鐵定一掃而光，而也因為肚子餓了，所以挑食的機會就變小了！

就這樣…..您根本不用坐在孩子的身邊逼他吃飯、逼他吃光，甚至是拿著棍子守在一邊，然後手腳發抖生氣孩子為什麼不吃飯，而孩子則是兩眼淚痕的哭訴媽媽為什麼總是要逼我吃飯，最後搞得爸媽與孩子通通氣成一團，何必呢？難道這是您要的生活品質？

有一次，孩子的便當沒有洗，隔天早上準備上學時卻發現不僅臭臭，還有螞蟻在爬，於是孩子怪媽媽說：「你為什麼沒有幫我洗？」，這時內人則是反問孩子：「你為什麼回家之後沒有洗？」，「你要對自己的事情負責，那是你吃過的便當盒耶！」，孩子默默的沒有出聲音，雖然他板著臉但還是乖乖自己去把便當洗乾淨。這是您必須從小教育小孩的觀念：「沒有誰應該要幫誰做什麼事情」，而您也要從小灌輸孩子「責任」這兩個字的意義！

現在孩子身高足夠踏上小板凳之後站在水槽邊，洗自己的餐碗變成他們自己的功課，因為這是他們自己在學校的用具、也是他們自己使用過後的餐具，你為什麼要幫他們洗好呢？放下吧….別管太多，也別妨礙太多小朋友學習以及成長的機會，您要做的應該是幫他檢查、幫他除錯，當發現問題時，告訴他這裡應該要修正、告訴他那裡應該要注意，而不是通通搶著幫他做完，您要記住：「當父母越全能的時候，孩子就會越無能」，請務必謹記！

讓他有機會練習

以前，孩子從學校裡面借書回來，總是窩在媽媽的旁邊，纏著媽媽一定要唸完故事書之後才肯睡，但在小孩認識注音符號之後，我們開始讓他們自己看故事書，然後看完之後唸給我們聽，唸完之後再把書收起來，請他自己「內化」之後說給我們聽，這樣的效果比媽媽唸床頭故事要好太多了，他們不僅會自己看書，也會把故事「用自己的語言說出來」，這樣不是很好嗎？誰說講床頭故事是父母的功課？反過來讓小朋友講給你聽吧…..這個時候你反而會因為孩子的成長而感到驕傲！

你自己忘記、自己「負責」

有一天孩子學校需要帶「10顆鳥蛋」去學校煮火鍋，睡前才跑來跟媽媽求求救，眼看晚上十一點多是要去那裡生鳥蛋？當晚媽媽並沒有理會，直接告訴孩子：「現在已經這麼晚了，已經沒有地方可以買，明天你自己去跟老師道歉、自己去跟同學道歉」，孩子急得眼睛都紅了可是眼淚不敢掉下來，因為他自己知道是自己的失誤與疏忽，而我們就是要讓孩子知道自己的事情自己要重視，如果你自己都忘了，卻要別人幫你處理，這樣是很不負責的！

但隔天早上….10 顆鳥蛋還是出現了，因為一早去菜市場的阿嬤為孩子買了回來，雖然媽媽有點不開心，但他告訴孩子：「去跟阿嬤抱抱說謝謝，你看人家這麼早就出去幫你買，很辛苦的」，之後孩子有時還是會漏東漏西，但是至少時間點提前了 (您知道學校老師都很喜歡來一個”明天要帶XXX”這種狠招，搞得許多父母非常辛苦) <- 這又是另外一個故事了 適時的給他獎勵與誘因 現代人的生活幾乎沒有什麼缺乏，說飯有飯吃（而且還是吃菜配飯），絕對不會餓到！而論物質的話，從小幫孩子買衣服、買玩具、買故事書，這些物質生活比起我們小時候，那可真的是天差地遠，但現代很多父母卻是三不五時「無條件」的買東買西送給孩子，不然就是在小孩子考試滿分或是表現優良時，立即奉上新台幣以滋鼓勵(即便是零錢)，這種狀況實在是非常要不得！ 小孩會從你身上看到一些歪曲的事情，他們看到奉承阿諛、在人面前求表現的表現，也知道怎麼樣可以獲得你的獎賞，甚至把這樣的行為變成他們的目的，以後只看錢與物質做事的生活，是您要孩子學到的事情嗎？ 我看過小孩拿著錢買東西來當孩子王使喚其他同學，因為小孩之間很容易因為誰優越就變成王。同樣的，您讓小孩太容易獲得一些玩具與用品，他們反而不珍惜資源，這樣價值觀就會嚴重扭曲，而這就是您愛護小孩、疼愛小孩的結果，從小受到父母的物慾薰陶，這....這是您要的結果嗎？ 「你好棒喔，我加你三個印章」、「你幫忙打掃家裡，幫忙折其他人的衣服，那我給你加五個印章」，我家孩子快樂的拿著家裡的打掃武器開始整理環境，而當他們集滿 100 枚印章之後，我們就選擇帶他們去文具店購買他們想要的文具或是到玩具店挑選他們想要的「人際關係物品」（你要知道，孩子為什麼會想要恐龍卡或是鬥片？那是因為他要去學校跟其他同學交際啊，這些你我看似無聊的東西，在孩子的世界裡面可是重要的交際應酬必需品），而當他們為了可以買到一個新的橡皮擦或是恐龍卡時，不僅平常會主動做家事，也會相互比較競爭、更不會排斥幫忙其他人做事，慢慢累積之後，孩子知道任何事情是沒有不勞而獲的，而這些他們經過努力之後得到的物品，也更加珍惜、更加保護，讓孩子養成想要獲得什麼東西都是需要去努力、去累積，而不是伸手要錢、張口要飯這麼不勞而獲。 考試滿分重要嗎？對我們家來說，成績不算什麼 隔壁街的補習班老師跟媽媽說：「你們是我看過對小孩最鬆的父母」，是的~這禮拜又要出去玩了，今天晚上又要去喜宴了，帶孩子出去接觸世界是我們父母一項擺在前面的選項，而品德教育反而是比較重要的課題，課業......那是什麼？能吃嗎？ 老大上小學之後，若在學校考試獲得不錯成績時(即便不是滿分，而是對於我們來說，他有進步了，而且他也努力了)，我們則會安排一趟家庭旅遊，去進行兩天一夜的小渡假，然後告訴孩子這個旅程是因為他的功課表現很好所以特別安排的，從他的笑容中，我發現我們這樣做是對的！因為他的臉上充滿著「你看，能全家出來玩是我的功勞」，那種受肯定以及自信，是你給他錢所買不到的.... 而即便孩子在學校的功課不是最好的，甚至還要被老師排入「加強資源班」，但對我們來說....這又如何？孩子的未來不是決定在「考券上有幾分，而是他的態度」！從小我與老婆的功課不是最好，但我們現在工作順利、朋友關係良好、收入穩定、一家和樂，當你的態度對了，什麼都對了！ 誰不希望自己的孩子拿著獎狀回來？誰不希望自己的孩子出人頭地？但在這之前您可曾想過孩子的資質以及興趣呢？功課對我們來講「過得去就好」，而我們教育孩子的是學習的態度以及自主的管理，讓他們回到家可以自己做功課、自己做家事、自己處理自己的課餘時間，因為「自理、自主、負責才是他人生中的必修科目」，而不是現在的加減乘除或是開更號！ 急什麼，走都走不好，跑什麼？ 我兩夫妻從不相信「孩子不要輸在起跑點上」這句話。學什麼才藝課？鋼琴？心算？芭蕾？還是小提琴？這些才藝課，請讓小朋友自己選、要參加任何活動，讓小朋友自己決定，而當孩子決定之後，請孩子自己去挖豬公，因為我要讓小孩珍惜你的每個機會，而且這個學習機會是你自己選的，就算撲滿裡面只挖出偶爾拿到的幾十塊錢，但小朋友知道這是付出他平常的努力與獎勵，他們開始知道想要獲得更多，必須靠自己犧牲一些什麼東西而獲得，而不是父母主動安排或是有求必應的。 如果孩子不知珍惜或學習不認真，下次想要在上才藝課，那就沒這麼簡單了！因為我們要讓孩子知道，真的花了錢就要好好做、好好學，因為他們從小知道原來做任何事情都是要付出與犧牲的，你不好好學，那就什麼都沒有......... 小朋友想學什麼才藝，想學什麼課程，當有自己小小的儲蓄加持之後，孩子總是學的特別認真，因為他知道這堂才藝課，是他花多少「代價」換來的。我們絕對不會主動去幫孩子安排什麼心算、珠算、鋼琴、小提琴還是什麼圍棋、跆拳道，因為如果孩子沒有興趣，逼他去上這些課程，他們真的可以學得有興趣嗎？而逼他們學這些不是發自他們主動的課程，您覺得小朋友會用心 & 心甘情願的去學習嗎？ 懶！不是教您不做事，還是要看事辦事 身為父母就像在公司裡面當主管一樣，您負責的是幫孩子判斷方向，針對每個人不同能力、不同專長、不同興趣以及不同個性，來安排他們適合的工作與任務方向，所以如果您總要一再要求孩子去做他沒有興趣的事情，只會讓雙方相處充滿戰爭(尤其是在青春期)。 身為父母的您，只要向主管一樣，指導孩子的做事態度、做事方向、確認孩子的學習動機以及正確心態，只要您擔任好導航的角色，讓這艘船不會偏離航道(做壞小孩)、不會開錯航道，這樣才是對小孩最佳的幫助。 身教大於言教，以身作則為首要 您的懶不是什麼事情都不做，以做家事來說，孩子也有忙碌的時候、孩子也有功課多的時候，身為父母的您要知道事情的輕重來決定每一件事情的先後順序以及賦予程度，有些事情您可以慢慢的教導孩子開始成長，但就像上面說的.....您必須針對每個人不同的能力而定，每個小孩都有自己的個性以及脾氣，就像不是每個小孩都能成為周杰倫、蕭敬騰或是蔡依林，您在教育的過程中也必須因材施教、親力親為，這樣才能做好孩子的榜樣唷！ 記住..... 懶....讓你過的更快樂，讓你的孩子也快樂。 懶....讓你花更好的精神，但是擁有更好的效益。 懶....讓兩個小孩知道自己找事情做、自己知道怎麼安排自己的時間。 懶....讓孩子知道自己應該要對自己負責，而不是什麼都找父母.... 懶....才能讓孩子在競爭激烈的現代社會裡，擁有獨立自主的生活能力。 我知道，父母愈全能、孩子會越無能，想讓孩子的未來更嗎？放手吧，不要讓自己變成恐龍父母，好嗎？ 有懶惰的父母 才有獨立的小孩